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July 8th, 2009

Creature-anism vs. Evolution

If you live in Southern California, you've undoubtedly pondered the deeper meaning of the "Creature From the Black Lagoon" posters and billboards plastered all over town: They feature what looks to be the film's original logo, perched above a greenish thing that looks vaguely like the Creature holding a microphone.

Wait - what? A microphone?! WTF?!

So, today the LA TIMES explained it all for us: This is a new attraction at the Universal Studios theme park, in which the Creature has evolved into the star of a 25-minute rock musical. Except it's not the Creature - it's more like the Predator with webbed digits. And apparently this "attraction" is so bad audiences are walking out in droves. If you don't believe that, just check out these clips:

The Creature Live

Okay, dammit, I've gotta say it: This is sacrilegious. The Creature, for me at least, is the absolute king of the Universal monsters, the one that was genuinely scary. Now the Gen-Z geniuses have turned it into a silly dreadlocked schmuck in a stunt suit gyrating his rubber hips to songs apparently so bad that even tourists can't take 'em.

Not as if I regularly visit Universal (even though I live 5 minutes from it), but heck - at this point I feel like even boycotting that freeway exit ramp.