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December 11th, 2008

A zero day

I'm having one of those significant birthdays today - you know, one that adds a zero to my age.

For weeks I've been squirming at the thought. Would I panic on the actual day? Would I suddenly become acutely aware of all the things I haven't accomplished, the goals I haven't met?

Now the day is here, and I'm strangely not even close to panic. Back in my early 20s I wrote down a list of all my goals (I have no idea where that list is today, although I think it is scrawled in some notebook or other stashed in the back of a closet). I'm pleased to say I've reached all of those goals (and it was a fairly lengthy list, with very specific goals, not vague ones) except three. Of those three, one no longer interests me - that was to direct a feature film. Since I truthfully no longer believe it's possible to make a good movie without becoming a complete and utter jerkwad (and since I'm not interested in making a bad movie), I've let that one go by the wayside. I've directed some theater that I thought was very good, and that's left my directing jones quite satisfied.

Of course the two goals that are left - sell a novel and buy a house - are the tough ones. But at least I'm significantly closer to the first. And I don't feel over-the-hill. I still feel young enough to have at least one more load of goal-accomplishment fuel left.

So wish me luck in my brave new decade! And thank you all for being here to help as we shoulder on.