July 30th, 2007

I want a leviathan, too!

At the bookstore, we recently acquired a book called The Dinosaur Dilemma: Fact or Fantasy. Here's the lowdown from Amazon:

Dinosaur Dilemma

I've never actually looked at a book on creationism before. I wondered how they dealt with fossils and dinosaurs. In case you've wondered the same thing, here are a few of the choicer quotes from this little jolt of fundamentalist surreality:

If it is true some of the creatures previously thought to be dinosaurs were birds and mammals, and not reptiles at all, then the so-called "age of reptiles" is nonsense.If in reality birds, reptiles and mammals were all present at the same time, this is excellent scientific evidence in favor of creationism... - Yep, kids, this is a sample of the kind of logic you're going to be treated to for more than 200 pages.

(On mammoths) The reason these huge creatures are now extinct may be that the bigger creatures lived longer millenniums ago. Huh. I guess creationists don't believe in proper use of the English language either. But didn't God create the word "millennia" as a plural to "millennium"? Oh, I guess it was Satan.

If it were true what evolutionists claim - that everything is getting bigger and better - things shouldn't be getting smaller and weaker as they are. WHA-HUH?! Wow. I've somehow missed all those press conferences with evolutionists telling us that everything is getting bigger and better. Meanwhile...didn't the guy who wrote this book notice that people are not getting smaller and weaker?

It isn't enough that this little gem tells us that evolution is "20th century mythology" - it also wants us to believe that dinosaurs walked the earth right alongside man. Chapter Three begins with: The size of the dinosaurs might not seem so strange to us if we realized giantism was common long ago...Since man then lived more than ten times the span of modern man, it may be true he was also significantly larger in stature.. There's even a chart showing how Adam was 16 feet tall, and man's gotten incrementally smaller since. Why is conveniently never explained. However...

As scripture reveals, God doesn't do anything without reason; otherwise He could not be trusted. Ohhhhhhhh. That explains it.

The evolutionists have built a huge temple in which to worship their god of humanism... Wait - dude, throughout the book you repeatedly call evolutionists atheists, but now they have a god to worship? I'm confused. Oh...no I'm not.

So, what happened to the dinosaurs? Since Noah's ark could easily have held two of each known species of land animals, both living and extinct, dinosaurs could have been on the ark and afterwards could have begun to repopulate the world after the Flood. The author goes on to cleverly explain that Noah brought baby dinosaurs onboard, and tells us this is why all those species "easily" fit onto the ark. Man, I can't even pack the car with more than three bags of groceries...

The authors spends a considerable number of pages discussing human footprints being found alongside dinos: Near the heart of Texas, discoveries are constantly being made on the Paluxy riverbed outside the small town of Glen Rose. The finds include dinosaur footprints along with the footprints of humans...numerous certified geologists have verified the large 'human prints' are genuine, as are the dinosaur prints...Creation scientists have excavated: 5 human prints, 25 inches each - indicating the man stood over ten feet tall... Then why haven't we heard of this? Well, here's why:

In 1982, both the press and many evolutionary scientists were invited to the dig...evolutionary scientists did not come until many months later, by which time the human tracks had been considerably enlarged because of their exposure to the atmosphere...arriving so long after the uncovering of the tracks, the evolutionists didn't have much to inspect at this site and thus were, as expected, quite skeptical. Those stupid evolutionists! It's all their fault this wasn't reported properly!

Now of course you know I had to go look up this Paluxy riverbed stuff, and everything I found mentioned that even most Creationists believed the tracks were all dinosaur. But ho - our intrepid author isn't one to give up that easily, and he addresses this problem shortly: Now, after a considerable study by even Bible-believing Christians, there is a warning being issued that some of the traks may not be human tracks at all. Substantial caution is being advised by prominent Christian scholars...whatever the outcome, it will not deny the possibility of humans and dinosaurs living on earth at the same time. Uhhhh....yeah, it will. Really.

But it gets better. Yep, not only did dinosaurs live side-by-side with 15-foot tall humans, but fire-breathing dragons were real (the author cites lightning bugs and electric eels as proof of this), and Nessie is real (a dinosaur, but of course!). At least the author acknowledges that ...the unicorn was probably a mythical creature. I do like that use of "probably".

The bibliography includes (under "Non-Christian Books") William Stout's The Dinosaurs (an art book), the Time-Life book Mysterious Creatures, 9 other non-academic books (including several published by sale book or remainder book companies), and a National Geographic magazine article. Not a single academic book or article, in other words; not even The Origin of Species.


Yep, those of us who think religion and intelligent design should be kept out of schools are up against this kind of thinking. The kind that says 2+2 can equal 3, because God wills it so.

I've always had this theory that the psychotic will always prevail over the sane person; the sane person simply lacks the ability to think like the psychotic, and so the psychotic will always have the element of surprise and unpredictability. I think this is a variation of that theory: Those of us who practice critical thinking can simply never comprehend this sort of simplistic and irrational nonsense. This country is doomed.